- "Very OK" has become a standard response to a variety of questions
- Matatus are no longer a welcome bit of colour on the roads. They are a pain in the arse
- You have stopped picking out politicians who might be Kenya's best hope
- You can't remember the last time you filled your car's petrol tank. 1000bob will do you just fine
- You don't need to look at the Java House menu any more. You know it off by heart
- You prefer White Cap to Tusker, even though there is no discernible difference
- You have an idea for a business that involves either beads or safari holidays
- You have learned enough Swahili to say, "Come here," "Mow the lawn," and "No, not like that."
- You visit any new restaurant in Nairobi within a week of it opening
- If you knocked down a small child in your car, you know you wouldn't stop. Unless it was white
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You Know You Have Been a Mzungu in Kenya Too Long When...
10 Comments
| August 1, 2008 10:42 AM
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Phew. I've not been here too long yet.
| August 2, 2008 5:48 AM
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You know, last night my wife and I went out for an evening walk. On the way out we dropped off a couple of plates of food for our watchmen. Returning half an hour later, we were talking about this list - especially the "very okay" bit - and having a giggle. When the watchman greeted us, I asked if the food we'd left them was any good. He replied, "It was very okay."
| August 2, 2008 3:19 PM
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My regular taxi driver uses it all the time. Never fails to make me smile
| August 4, 2008 2:29 PM
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You lost me at #10.
| August 6, 2008 9:45 AM
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I would only add:
11. When someone says "Hello," you reply, "Fine."
| August 6, 2008 10:45 AM
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12. If you can't find a plastic implement then a knife will do just fine to push down the third pin of an electical socket while inserting your two-pronged plug
| August 9, 2008 9:25 PM
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Lol. Brilliant.
| September 14, 2008 2:59 PM
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"If you knocked down a small child in your car, you know you wouldn’t stop. Unless it was white"
this supposed to be funny?
| September 15, 2008 9:28 AM
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Not really. It's a comment on attitudes of Kenya's white (permanent and expat) population and advice I've received on more than one occasion
What do you think?
Rob Crilly in Jerusalem
Rob Crilly is a freelance journalist based in Jerusalem writing for The Sunday Telegraph and The Daily Mail. He spent...
Funny stuff, Rob